Story of Drow Elf Thaix

[syfylis]

Just read begining of your story so I'm goin to say few words only about that.

Evil jump out of hole and start punishing emo kid. Sorry that's bad begining.

Make new one, why most of people start story from bad begining? I know there is well know fact that people like from zero to hero but really i belive you can be more creative than that. Make sure to remember that if you go to far with too optimistic or negative story you will end up with very unrealistic world.

[tuukkasalonen]

Just read begining of your story so I'm goin to say few words only about that.

Evil jump out of hole and start punishing emo kid. Sorry that's bad begining.

Make new one, why most of people start story from bad begining? I know there is well know fact that people like from zero to hero but really i belive you can be more creative than that. Make sure to remember that if you go to far with too optimistic or negative story you will end up with very unrealistic world.

Yes I know very well that it is a bad beginning. But in my opinion it fits him. And he's not a "hero" type of character (at least i try to keep him not to be like that)
You don't like the story. That's your opinion, other might like it. I understand your point of the view and your criticism has been taken. However I can't edit my first parts of the story so if I would like to update them I would have to make updated parts of the earlier version behind the ending and I don't really like that kind of order.

[iamtruthseeker]

It's bad form to look at the beginning of something then comment. I as a fact read all your your posts sy even if it gets very detailed. Do the author a courtesy and base the feedback on how the whole thing works out.

[syfylis]

It's bad form to look at the beginning of something then comment. I as a fact read all your your posts sy even if it gets very detailed. Do the author a courtesy and base the feedback on how the whole thing works out.

Just read story. I must say you suprised me at few places in a good way.

All I want to point out to get my point is that part from the fact that begining is "cliche" even if we forget about that we see that writer make a very strong character line. You make his life hell and that have to make inpact on character choices. It's not good to make character life too negative because you will have to follow that patter all the way.

If you make your character negative on one page and that optimistic on second it''s not gonna work well. I don't like to say people what they should write but if i could give bit of advice then i would follow the pattern and create tragedy and on the way introduced new hero that would continue your story after main character downfall.

You should make him evil but i think there is still somethin that makes him good and it would be nice if you kill that thing.

[sylatra]

Just 2 things I couldn't digest:


- I thought I read in 4e book somewhere that there is no such thing as half-drow as "the drow eat any human foolish enough to come close to them" (though there are 'half-drow half-demons'
- I can't remember of geass used in D&D lit as spell, but I think in irish(?) mythology it is a just a resolution (e.g. I won't kill any chicken) because of which the person becomes more strong. So I really didn't get how geass helped him.

Other than that story is developing nice.

Actually OIn the Lireal Baerne series, there was a play that her and the human may have made love at one point, so yes it is possible to have a half elf draw running around..in fact I believe in the underdark some of the dark elves have been know to have fun with their slaves in the underdark, hence some of the half breeeds that run around...but hey anything can happen in the world of FR.